This is my challenge to you, yes you reading this, this summer: Lock yourself out of your comfort zone.
A baby is allowed to eat liquid foods such as breast milk until around 6 months old, when it should be introduced to solid foods. This process is called weaning. If you fail to begin this process, the baby’s growing nutritional needs will not be met and this will stall their growth. The principle of this is the same with us, even 20, 30, 40 years after we have passed this stage. If we do not feed our souls and minds with things of a stronger substance, we will remain the same people we have always been. We will never grow, even if we need to. And this growth cannot come if you choose not to consume the solid foods in the first place.
So what are these supposed solid foods? It’s quite simple actually. It’s anything that is harder to digest than liquid foods. Anything that you may initially resist, that may make you uncomfortable, that is outside of your comfort zone.
For those who still don’t understand, let me drop the metaphorical language and be straight up with y’all. If you remain in your comfort zone forever, you will never develop. There are certain things and habits that some of us have been doing our whole damn lives and we wonder why we have been struggling with the same issues and insecurities that we were struggling with when we were 12 years old. Because you’ve been used to a thing for so long, your mind has been conditioned to believing that’s all that you are and that’s all that you can be. Some of us think we can’t do certain things. We believe that no matter how hard we try, we just do not have the ability. But that’s a damn lie. One of the most undeniable things about the human race is that we are adaptable. We adapt to our environment. Take away someone’s vision and they will eventually learn how to navigate with their other senses. Similarly, lock someone out of their comfort zone and they will eventually learn how to navigate life in this new space. (And sometimes, they even like life better that way).
My physical comfort zone is wigs, it’s braids, it’s weave, it’s anything but my natural hair. As I’ve outlined in my previous posts, I grew up my entire life believing my hair was something to be ashamed of and something to be hidden. From the moment my hair was cover-able, it’s been covered with some sort of hairstyle. And it was normal to me. So normal that there was never a time I would go more than 2 days with my natural hair ‘exposed’ (Those 2 days being the weekend of course, nobody in school is allowed to see me like this!). So this Summer, I am locking myself out of my comfort zone and for the first time I am wearing my natural hair out for a prolonged period of time. The first time I did this a few months ago, I remember how terrified I was. Sounds silly, right? I was texting my friend and telling her how I feel like everyone is staring at me and I look ugly and I just want to go home. I was uncomfortable. But I was growing. And I didn’t even realise it. I spent that day out shopping and by the end of the day, I felt calmer than I did when I left my house. An achievement of some sort. So I did it again the next day, and the next, and by the end of the week, although I was not fully confident, I was getting comfortable being uncomfortable. And I kind of liked it. So I decided to challenge myself to do it for the entire Summer, and it’s been a month now and I can tell you that I am not just comfortable, but happy. I am embracing the hair on my head and I have actually learned to like it a lot more than I thought I ever could.
But the physical portion of your comfort zone is usually minor compared to the emotional and mental portion of it. Because it is these that control the physical portion and just about every other seemingly superficial one. Get out of the state of mind where you are comfortable. The one where you don’t confront the things that exhaust you. The one where you settle for less and accept that it is what it is. It is NOT what it is until you decide it is. Some of us have accepted that we are ‘naturally’ quick to anger, defensive, lazy, judgemental, jealous, I could go on. And because of these things we believe internally, they control how we act externally. We never try to be different because we believe that’s all that we are – it is our comfort zone. (Whether you like it or not, whatever it is that is your first reaction in a situation, that is your comfort zone).
SO LOCK YOURSELF OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. Give yourself NO CHOICE to get back into it. A baby has no choice to accept the solid foods that they are spoon-fed. They can spit it out all they like, but eventually they will get hungry and eat. For example, if you struggle with anger, start working on being more patient and having self-control when you are alone. If you do that by praying to God, by reading things online, studying books etc., do it. Do anything that will inspire change in you. Next step: Don’t avoid situations that can anger you. I know what you’re thinking, “wait…what?” But I’m not playing. You can never learn something if you don’t exercise it. I will never be a good football player if I do not practise with a team. I can be excellent by myself, but the real test and the real growth happens when you have no choice but to choose to execute what you have learned. And sometimes, you will choose not to. But we learn from failure. And we get up and try again.
If there’s an idea that you have been contemplating acting upon, but you have convinced yourself otherwise due to believing you have a lack of resources, audience etc, lock yourself out of your comfort zone. Use what you have now. Even if it is little, use it. Stop feeding into the lies that will keep you in the same spot for the rest of your life. Stop waiting around for opportunities to be presented to you and go and grab hold of ANY opportunity that is available now – whether big or tiny. Stop accepting things under the guise that you have little to no control over them.
You will never experience significant personal development if you do not make an effort to experience change. Stop being so afraid of change and let it do what it knows how to do best. Don’t let fear stop you from really living. I know that some of us are so deep in our insecurities and flaws that we think it would take too long to unlearn old habits, but that’s just another lie stemming from our comfort zone. Remember that your comfort zone is lazy, it will never encourage you to do anything involving uncomfortable feelings. So stop letting it control you. Some of y’all were planning to spend your whole Summer indoors by choice because it’s just easier that way, but how you gon’ experience your most abundant life within four walls? Some of y’all have had the same friends for over 15 years and you will not allow more people into your life, but how you gon’ grow in mentality if you been hearing the same things from the same mouths forever?
It’s weird and a bit off-putting at first to reprogram your mind from how it’s used to thinking, but if you stick with it just for one day, and then for one day longer, and then for one day longer than that, it gradually becomes easier. And it is worth it. So believe in your power to adapt. It is literally in your nature. And remember, everyone started from where you are now. They just had patience. So wait.