I am not black, I am brown.

When I was a child, I used to tell my friends this in defense when I was referred to as black. Why? Because my underdeveloped brain understood, beyond my knowledge then, that having black skin meant something. Being black meant something. It wasn’t just a colour or title, it was a statement on who I am to the rest of the world. It meant I am below you. I am less attractive than you. I am different.

Being black or white is not a colour, it is a power dynamic.

I was reading Ta-Nehisi Coates’ Between the World and Me when this thought struck me. He referred to white people as people who “believe themselves to be white” and this concept arrested my thought. You are not born into ‘black’ or ‘white’. You may be born a member of the Negroid or Black race, or the Caucasian or White race, but you are not born into black or white. Black and white is a dichotomous system that has been imposed on people for centuries now. And ever since this system was established (by white people), black people have always known themselves to be black, as this is what they were told they are, but white people seemed not to know themselves to be white. They rather see themselves as the ‘default’, with no need to be labelled. Because why label the ‘superior’ when their status is already known? Only the ‘inferior’ need a name.

Now understand before I delve into this that when I make reference to white people, I am not attacking individual white persons but the system that is known as white people. And if you are still uncomfortable after this disclaimer, perhaps you are a part of this system’s problems.

There are certain people that will see a space that is entirely black, such as a black women’s magazine, and will condemn it for being racially exclusive. Some will go so far as to say “how can black people complain about exclusion when they are the ones who segregate themselves?” That, my friend, is a lovely question. I have an even better one. How come you never point out how a ‘normal’ magazine can feature not a single black model in a whole year of issuing? How come you do not challenge businesses when you see that the entire board of management is of one colour, despite it being a multinational corporation? How can you complain about black people creating spaces for themselves when you are well aware that they must work ten times harder if they want even an inch in another space? Oh, my bad, that was three questions instead of one. You get the point.

The reason certain people think like this is because they believe that white is the default and black is ‘different’. It is why these same people become uncomfortable when being referred to as white and rush to claim we are all one human race. Tell that to your fellow white American policeman who does not see a human but a threat.

I am not sure if I can entirely blame these people without remembering the system that has been imposed on them from the moment the midwife picked them up and proclaimed “It’s white!…I mean..It’s a girl!”. Being white has meant something ever since the European ruling powers decided it did, in the same way that they declared being black to mean something. White person writes their CV and submits a job application, hoping that their qualifications will be enough to secure the job. Black person writes their CV and has to place their ‘English name’ in front of their African name (or omit the African name altogether) and hopes this time they will be invited for an interview. White person walks into a store with a friend and looks around for the shoes they saw on their Instagram explore page. Black person walks into a store with a friend and the security guard, that was posted at the door for 20 mins straight before their entrance, suddenly decides he needs to stretch his legs. This is the power dynamic I talk about. I use these two non-verbal examples to illustrate how it does not even have to be about the behaviour or attitude of the persons but simply a matter of how appearance elicits a kind of power (or lack thereof).

In many countries in Africa, you are not black, you are just Nigerian, Congolese, Ugandan, Malian, Tanzanian, Sudanese. The reason this is is because black cannot exist unless white does. I do not mean people who are black cannot exist without people who are white. But the power dynamic of black and white cannot be mutually exclusive. Being black is nothing more than the colour of your skin in these countries. Until you move abroad. Don’t get me wrong, people in Africa are still affected by this power dynamic of white vs. black. This is only inevitable after the scramble for Africa left the results that it did, establishing systems of corruption and greed and white saviours and whatnot. However, black and white does not become a direct system until you are brought into a whiter space. And this is why I address this issue, being in the whiter space of the Western world.

But this isn’t the 1800s anymore. It is the 21st century. Black is such a narrow box and the world seems so adamant to ensure that it remains narrow. They took every culture belonging to people of a darker skin, every tribe, every country, and squeezed it into a monochromatic claustrophobic box – black. In more negative stereotypes, black is seen to mean criminal, lazy, thief, ghetto, loud, uncivilized, gang-member etc. In increasingly praised stereotypes, black is seen to mean hip hop music, exotic curly hair, wide hips, big bums, clear skin, colourful designs. But in neither of these categories seems there to be ‘human’. This is what leads a lot of black people to feel like they are not ‘black enough’, because they do not seem to fit into the world’s box of what black should mean. And this can be even harder when even their own fellow black people are shaming them for this. But just because you are black does not mean you have to squeeze yourself into what that ‘should’ mean. You are granted the right to express yourself in as much capacity as you wish. White people seem to be granted the permission to express themselves however they want. They can like whatever music, movies, art, clothes that they want to like and people will not tell them they are not ‘white enough’ for it. Someone’s skin colour should not determine the kind of person they are, or their hobbies, interests, intellect and values. Give people space to be who they want to be. Allow us the space to be as human as everybody else. Remember, you who needs this, you are still black even if you do not like hip hop music or get cultural references or know how to dance. Recreate what it means to be black for you and do not allow anybody to tell you otherwise.

I thank God that today I see the power in black. It is a self-defined sort of power, seeing that others were not so willing to give it to us themselves. And this self-defining makes us stronger. I abandoned the notion of calling myself brown and I have since then referred to myself as black because I have redefined it for myself. I am as black as black is black. I am not ashamed of it because I am not conforming to what the system believes black to be. Black is powerful. Black is resilient. Black is a colour that demands all the attention in the room whilst being the quietest one there. Black is our own.

“They made us into a race. We made ourselves into a people.”
Ta-Nehisi Coates