So I cut off all of my hair.

And I feel incredible. I know a lot of people will ask me “Why though?” or say things like “But your hair was growing! It was healthy!”. Not to sound conceited, but I know all of these things already. I don’t really need reminding of it, but I do understand that when people are shocked they outwardly react in ways where their thoughts are unfiltered. You, also, may be wondering why I did cut my hair. Here’s my answer.

I did it because I wanted to. I didn’t do it for appearance, nor to try a new style, nor to start my hair growth journey afresh. I just did it because I wanted to. I did it because for so long I have been in pursuit of a feeling of liberation – a feeling that I am in control and I can make my own decisions. I didn’t consult many people at all in making this decision, not even my family really. I just did it. And I have zero regrets.

Let me tell you something. There is something so beautiful in doing something just because you want to. There’s something beautiful in doing something and not feeling like you owe an explanation that will justify your decision. I don’t really care as to whether “I just wanted to” is justifiable or not, I am happy that I did something because I wanted to do it. I feel like too many of us spend our entire lives doing things and looking like things just because society tells us that that is what is pretty and beautiful and acceptable. Especially as a woman. But I do not exist to be pretty. I do not exist to be beautiful. I do not exist to please others with my appearance. I exist to be my full version and expression of myself. I exist to be like the sun, something that is brilliant and burning at the same time. I exist to be the entirety of what God called me to be. And I will do this unapologetically from now on. This was just the first step.

There is something empowering in removing something so permanent from yourself. Something that has been a part of your life for as long as you can remember. Since I was a kid I was always told that my hair is my crown, that long hair equates to beauty, that essentially a part of my worth lied in my hair. And I am done with it! I know some people will think I am crazy or dramatic for making this decision, but I couldn’t have made a better one. I find peace in knowing that I am in full control of the decisions that I make and in knowing that I have full autonomy over these decisions.

So dear younger Aghogho, this is for you. You spent so many years enslaved to the opinions and ideologies of others. Letting your actions be dictated by what people expected of you and thought of you. You listened to every little piece of advice on how to essentially not be yourself, and you allowed it to reduce who you were. You allowed the outer voices to determine your inner voice. But enough is enough. This is for you because you always wanted the freedom to express yourself in your entirety. This is for you because you spent so many years living to impress the male gender, seeking validation from their affirmation. This is for the tear-filled nights where you hated yourself just because you did not think you met the conventional standards of beauty. This is for the long days where you compared yourself to all your pretty friends and asked God why he made you so different. I know you would be smiling right now, because you always wanted so badly to defy the expectations society imposed upon you. I know you would be happy.

Dear older Aghogho, this is for you. This is the first of many steps you will take to take full grasp of your life. Let this be something that inspires you to do unconventional things, without the opinions of others in mind. I hope this will allow you to unlock a realm of confidence that you were not aware existed within you. Take the leaps of faith even when nobody else is in support of it. Because it is not their life, it is yours. They hold no weight over you. I hope this releases you from the fear that your future husband will not find you attractive. What a silly fear that is. The person who is for you will be for you regardless of what you look like. And you shouldn’t let even your own soulmate to determine what you decide to do with your appearance. I pray you continue to do brave things that you are afraid of. I pray you continue to do things that make you super uncomfortable, because you realise it FREES you. I pray that when you are met with a challenge that frightens you, that will you feel the fear (like you did today) and do it anyway.

I want to say a big thank you to all the people who inspired me to do this. I also want to thank the people that encouraged me to do this. I have been quietly observing everybody who has cut off their hair over the past few weeks and it’s like every person who has done it added more and more strength to my “to do it or not to do it”. So thank you. I feel zero regrets. I’m not quite sure what styles I will decide to do following this, as I did not make this decision to try a new style. I did it more for the feeling of freedom that it would bring me, and that feeling that I am currently experiencing is worth any strand of hair on my head! So here’s to major decisions, and to exercising your own power!

Stay blessed.

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  1. Jennifer says:

    “I did it because I wanted to” I LOVE IT

    1. Aghogho says:

      Thank you!!

  2. Michelle says:

    I love this. It’s so relatable and if I’m honest I’m jealous of the liberation you have that I find myself still longing for. Keep it up though, your work is amazing.

    1. Aghogho says:

      One day you will grasp hold of it, believe me. Baby steps. Thank you.

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